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[2003-Feb-18] This News page is replaced by the Weblog. Go check it out!

[2001-Nov-21] Welcome to the new pages. The previous design wasn't really designed but it lasted five good years, from my first html course in November '96 through to now. I give this spiffy new version five months. Enjoy.

November 2001
Since summer I've been burning out again, vacations wear off. Changing this site has been like constructive escape. Not a vacation but a break from what I've been working on, keeping the claws sharp and all that. December will be more of a vacation, family and friends at christmas, New Year's in Jasper.
An acquaintance made the mistake of talking about guy problems, she intimidates the guy she's after with her big brain. She asked if she should dumb herself down to have more fun. Not that I have a compulsive list thing, but it led to this:

Top 11 Ways to Deal With Dumb Guys
11. Try not to giggle when asking "How's that Happy Meal?"
10. Compliment his new t-shirt, even if you're not quite sure who "Mechagarumon" is.
9. Suggest that you start a book club together. Offer to buy the crayons.
8. Before dinner, praise his surgical skill in removing the plastic film from the dessert and potatoes.
7. Be comforting when he complains about his hard day at work and how he fell for that "dime at the bottom of the deep fryer" trick again.
6. End monster truck debates fast by asking "Wouldn't you rather be having sex?"
5. Promise him that if he'll sit through Magnolia with you, you'll help him get the mousetraps off his feet.
4. When he asks you to stop spelling out the big words when talking in front of him, explain you don't want to ruin his birthday surprise.
3. Burn the Scrabble board, break out Hungry Hungry Hippos.
2. If you accidentally back him into a corner while debating foreign policy, just ask "What would John Wayne do?"
1. Never explain professional wrestling.

20 June 2001
All is good. Work is going well, I can't wait to let everyone see what we're building but you'll have to wait a little longer. I expect to be finished in July, and will take a break around the start of August.

For the first time in about a year I'm updating this site. I've been cleaning up old files and finding things to put online. The same old rule applies -- if it was something I did because I couldn't find the answer anywhere else, I'll put it up. But there's bound to be some mindless self-indulgence too. I'll try to keep it all original, but there's a fine line between original and derivative.

4 June 2001
Read about this year's trip to Lake Placid.

21 February 2000
Paris. It's an amazing place and a different planet. Food is expensive, wine is cheap. No one there has heard of a French Press, they use espresso machines. Authentic French Onion Soup isn't anything your average Greek-Italian restaurant on the Prairies can't do better. Though in Paris they just call it Onion Soup with Cheese (Soup l'ognion au gratin). Burgers still come in styrofoam at McDonalds, so your ketchup doesn't soak through when you put your fries in the other half. They still have Coke in bottles. Glad to see no Starbucks yet and doubt their lousy warmish coffee would make it there except for all the tourists. I doubt Jim Morrison was ever kicked out of a better club than the Cemetery at Monmartre, it's a pretty spiffy place tomb-wise. The Eiffel Tower is the only thing in Paris not encased in concrete, and it wouldn't hurt it to look less like a crane. Everything else you already know know (it's really old and looks great and lots of people go there). I was really surprised not to see more Jerry Lewis t-shirts, though there was a Three Stooges film festival. Thanks to John and Jo at the Montparnasse Firkin, all good and I made it back alive.

1 February, 1999
Alta Vista offers a service to translate web documents between several languages. To view this page in French, German, Spanish, Italian or Portuguese, click the Other Languages button at the top of the page, select a language, and click Translate.
For way more fun, mix Alta Vista's translator with movie scripts at Drew's Script-o-Rama for hours of English-Chinese-back to English fun.

October 10, 1998
My SuperFly Fishing Machine is a "Cool Site" according to the Open Directory Project, "the largest human-edited directory of the Web."

October 2, 1998
Arrived in the dark
The last day of trout season
Damn that traitor sun.

Copyright © 2001-2006 Eli Robillard, All Rights Reserved